encouragement from someone who has been through the fire

Category: Holy spirit

  • Solitude

    Recently our church house group has begun studying a practice known as solitude. It is similar to meditation I guess, involving focussing on a few breath cycles, stilling the mind and letting any thoughts pass by. We are trying to focus our attention in a peaceful state on God. We close our eyes and simply wait. The trick is not to try and force or control anything, but simply to be still and wait expectantly. It is initially proving more difficult than I thought it would be. Time moves very slowly. For me, all sorts of thoughts, pictures, stresses and plans swirl around. We have been learning that the trick is not to fight these but simply notice them and move on.

    To be honest, when we were starting to discuss this series, I was highly sceptical of it. Defensive and evasive even. I’m not sure why exactly. It has been developed, in part, by a well-known preacher, John Mark Comer. I trust his teaching and my friends in the group who organised the study.

    Five days in it is not only not as strange as I initially thought it might be, it’s quite exciting. As an introvert I have no issue of spending time on my own. But I’m realising more and more that these moments spent by myself, with closed eyes, open hands and heart, being still and reverent before my King, I’m far from alone.

  • A whisper in the dark

    Most of the time I don’t know what to type for this blog. I try to write short poems, some rambles. Some things seem to work, most don’t. I pray to be led by the Holy Spirit and ask for words to flow. For something that will bless others, something that will touch a heart or two. This is especially true in the moments that I feel that bits of my story could help someone. Well, that’s what I try for anyway.

    Yet there is usually silence from God. Maybe he has nothing for me just now. Maybe I am not listening right. Maybe this sort of thing takes practice. Whatever the reasons or purposes yet undisclosed, I do feel the need to share something.

    My story is one of great personal and family struggles. Of some very dark moments, some glimmers of hope, some more darkness. Lots of not listening for God’s voice and not looking for help in times of need and distress.

    There have been encounters with all sorts of people, from those who sought to destroy me, and those who showed me unconditional love through pained rebellion. It has not been easy, even when blessings have been bountiful, my attitude and focus has often been on the negatives. I do regret that. I’m working on changing that. But I do know that Jesus is patient, and his forgiveness is always on offer.

    To anyone going through shadows or sadness. To anyone lost in despair or hopelessness. I know what it’s like. I often sink back into it and let the lows take hold. But I have also known the beauty of God’s grace, a voice calling out to me to let Him help and mould me into the man that He made me to be.

    He wants to mould you too, whether you already know Him or not. He doesn’t promise things will be easy. I know that all too well. But the calling is to trust the maker of all, with all you have, and all that He will teach you, as He is gradually teaching me.

    He’s calling you home.

  • If you had heaven..

    If you had heaven..

    At church house group recently we discussed an interesting question. If you had heaven, with every good thing. Every blessing. Every person you have ever loved. All of nature. All your favourite places from Earth. All the foods you love, and all those yet to be discovered. Everything you could ever imagine. Perfection. But Jesus was not there. Would it still be heaven for you?

    The consensus was mostly around the view that this heaven would actually be hell as Jesus is not there. The debate went on for some time though. It was considered that if someone offered you this heaven without Jesus, they may well be someone that had offered a tempting fruit once a long time ago.

    As I pondered this discussion later while listening to some worship music, I was struck by the thought that:

    If Jesus could have heaven with every good thing. Every luxury. Every bit of nature. Every angel. Every prophet and apostle. Father God and Holy Spirit. But not every single one of his beloveds. It would not be heaven to Him.

    This also led to the train of thought of how it must break His heart knowing that many of His pinnacle of creation human beings will not be there. This challenges me to try again to witness to people of the love and miracles I have come to know.

  • Fresh start

    Fresh start

    I’ve been blogging for a few years, but it was always a bit half-hearted. My blogs contained some deep and personal things. Sometimes the posts would contain things I felt were led by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I just rambled. Hopefully, this new blog will be more of the former, being led by God. I’ll try and keep it more focussed while attempting to not have it too heavy either. The aim is to have more regular posts, and I’ll try and read more on here too. There will be a mix of poetry and Christian ramblings here. A flavour of my experience trying to live for Jesus. It’s not easy, it may never be, but I know the One who holds together the galaxies and stars. He can cope with you and me. This is chapter one of a book with torn pages. Torn, but not destroyed.