encouragement from someone who has been through the fire

Category: ramblings

  • Do you know?

    Do you know?

    As I type this I am listening to the song ‘Mary did you know?’ by Mark Lowry. It has become this year’s Christmas’ most special song in our home. For those not familiar with it, it speaks a tender monologue as if to Mary, the mother of Jesus, asking if she knew just to what extent the world had changed through her new-born Son. That this baby boy had come to love, heal and restore, to raise the dead. Ultimately to one day deliver us all and rule the nations. And all of this began as fullness of God in a completely helpless infant. ‘…When you kiss your baby boy, you kiss the face of God.’ It is a beautiful song, which has been widely covered and reworked as I learned from a quick search on Soundcloud.

    But the thing that strikes me is the ramifications and applications in today’s world. Even as a Christian I am often found searching after material ‘stuff,’ and being entertained by social media dopamine hits. I wonder how much harder it must be for people who, as yet, have not opened their hearts to Jesus. The distractions and temptations of all this time of year offers, the excess and the new shiny things. I know people who struggle with addiction and this makes things even more difficult, but He also specialises in setting captives free.

    But, for me, when I choose to reframe my priorities and quieten myself and listen for the whispers from heaven, I find again why I responded as a child, and returned as an adult. That humblest of beginnings inside a manger in Bethlehem did change the world. The earth still knows his voice and creation still sings His praise. That little baby boy did not just become the Saviour of the world. He already was. Every fibre of everything was carefully and wonderfully woven by His hands.

    I think Mary had some idea of that. The angel that appeared to her must have explained some of that to her. My hope is that I keep coming back to the truth of who that baby boy was, is, and is to come. And that I would turn away from the madness of the consumerist holiday and back to my first love. I hope that others I meet make the same choice, and find the greatest gift of the festive period. Mary knew. My friend, do you?

  • Level Of Potential

    Level Of Potential

    It has been a few weeks of some deep depression, and it’s been difficult to cling on to any sort of hope. I know that God is there, that He is here. But I can’t see Him, or even be aware of Him a lot of the time. The blessings I have been gifted with are all around: my beautiful,  godly wife; our spacious home in a lovely town, with lots of stunning beaches nearby. From the outside, people must wonder what’s wrong with me. To be honest it’s like that from the inside too. I really don’t know what’s wrong. But every day is a struggle, some just to get out of bed.

    Recently there have been lots of examples when I have had responsibilities to take care of my wife, our home, helping with things. It is all too much a lot of the time. I just withdraw from people, and the awful things that I think they are saying and thinking about me. Intrusive thoughts or actual whispers, I’m not always sure. But they are intense, and they never really leave. Even around friends and trusted colleagues at work.

    The last few days have been slightly easier, I’m getting up out of bed, going to work and trying to do things I enjoy. But the thoughts and other symptoms are still there most of the time.

    I’m not at risk, but often there is no obvious solution, or is it just going to be a long process? How long will it be? At what point does peace of mind and any sort of comfort around people begin? Where does confidence come from?

    People tell me to pray constantly, and to put on the full armour of God. These things I often do, sometimes I forget. But they often make no difference. I’m a believer in Jesus without the basics. Hope, peace, joy. What does that say about me? I don’t doubt that God can and does heal, he has healed me physically in the past. At times I’m not sure he will heal my mind and emotions though. And that’s hard.

    To others going through similar things, I don’t have any real answers. There are things that help, like relaxation techniques, keeping communication open with close friends and family, turning to God with honesty and persistence, seeking professional help, if needed. But beyond treating the symptoms I am not sure where full restoration comes sometimes, it’s a waiting game, like the apostle Paul, some of us have a thorn in our side that we need to live around.

    I think it was the late evangelist, Bob Gass that once said that “…the level of attack only reveals the level of our potential…”

    I guess many people have a huge amount of potential.

  • A whisper in the dark

    Most of the time I don’t know what to type for this blog. I try to write short poems, some rambles. Some things seem to work, most don’t. I pray to be led by the Holy Spirit and ask for words to flow. For something that will bless others, something that will touch a heart or two. This is especially true in the moments that I feel that bits of my story could help someone. Well, that’s what I try for anyway.

    Yet there is usually silence from God. Maybe he has nothing for me just now. Maybe I am not listening right. Maybe this sort of thing takes practice. Whatever the reasons or purposes yet undisclosed, I do feel the need to share something.

    My story is one of great personal and family struggles. Of some very dark moments, some glimmers of hope, some more darkness. Lots of not listening for God’s voice and not looking for help in times of need and distress.

    There have been encounters with all sorts of people, from those who sought to destroy me, and those who showed me unconditional love through pained rebellion. It has not been easy, even when blessings have been bountiful, my attitude and focus has often been on the negatives. I do regret that. I’m working on changing that. But I do know that Jesus is patient, and his forgiveness is always on offer.

    To anyone going through shadows or sadness. To anyone lost in despair or hopelessness. I know what it’s like. I often sink back into it and let the lows take hold. But I have also known the beauty of God’s grace, a voice calling out to me to let Him help and mould me into the man that He made me to be.

    He wants to mould you too, whether you already know Him or not. He doesn’t promise things will be easy. I know that all too well. But the calling is to trust the maker of all, with all you have, and all that He will teach you, as He is gradually teaching me.

    He’s calling you home.

  • A higher throne

    A higher throne

    With all the changes in the world over the last few months politically, it can be easy to be confused, unsettled, worried or even overwhelmed and afraid. I read somewhere recently that in 2024 over a third of the world held national elections. Many of these elections threw up interesting results, some surprises and even upheaval and huge changes. I am not alone at being concerned by some of these. In some cases, frightened. But for all the positions of power that changed hands, some for the better, some less so, I have been reminded that there is always a higher power than all the kingdoms, republics, and nations here on earth. No matter who is elected and where, their power is only going to be short lived. Some rulers seem to be a law unto themselves, but they are not untouchable or without accountability. There is a higher throne. One that can never be shaken or overthrown.

    This throne belongs to Jesus. He is the only truly just and perfect ruler, and his kingdom has, and will have no end. When we are tempted to worry, panic or even despair, we need only remember this truth. His heavenly throne room overlooks the world with ultimate authority and power, but also with tender gentleness and grace.

    There is a higher throne than all this world has known. It will never be shaken. It will never fall.

    If we trust Him, we have nothing to fear in people, regardless of what positions of authority they possess.

    We simply need to go about our lives, sharing the love and care we have come to know. Jesus will take care of the rest.

  • If you had heaven..

    If you had heaven..

    At church house group recently we discussed an interesting question. If you had heaven, with every good thing. Every blessing. Every person you have ever loved. All of nature. All your favourite places from Earth. All the foods you love, and all those yet to be discovered. Everything you could ever imagine. Perfection. But Jesus was not there. Would it still be heaven for you?

    The consensus was mostly around the view that this heaven would actually be hell as Jesus is not there. The debate went on for some time though. It was considered that if someone offered you this heaven without Jesus, they may well be someone that had offered a tempting fruit once a long time ago.

    As I pondered this discussion later while listening to some worship music, I was struck by the thought that:

    If Jesus could have heaven with every good thing. Every luxury. Every bit of nature. Every angel. Every prophet and apostle. Father God and Holy Spirit. But not every single one of his beloveds. It would not be heaven to Him.

    This also led to the train of thought of how it must break His heart knowing that many of His pinnacle of creation human beings will not be there. This challenges me to try again to witness to people of the love and miracles I have come to know.

  • Fresh start

    Fresh start

    I’ve been blogging for a few years, but it was always a bit half-hearted. My blogs contained some deep and personal things. Sometimes the posts would contain things I felt were led by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I just rambled. Hopefully, this new blog will be more of the former, being led by God. I’ll try and keep it more focussed while attempting to not have it too heavy either. The aim is to have more regular posts, and I’ll try and read more on here too. There will be a mix of poetry and Christian ramblings here. A flavour of my experience trying to live for Jesus. It’s not easy, it may never be, but I know the One who holds together the galaxies and stars. He can cope with you and me. This is chapter one of a book with torn pages. Torn, but not destroyed.